PC:Session Recap - 27 March 2009
From Loranon
Contents |
[edit] Taliesin's Journal, March 17, 1332
The first commandment of the Dregs should be, "Thou Shalt Not Fuck with the Detective". Humans are short lived, and they forget this most sacred of commandments. Occasionally, I have to remind one of them. Jonny didn't know not to fuck with me. He sent one of his thugs after me last week. Nice chap, think his name was Virgil. Virgil took a bit of convincing, but he left me alone. Speaking of which, ran into him earlier today. He invited me to join his book club.
I did a bit of scouting about and found out that Jonny takes the same route to check on his businesses every day. Jonny needed punished, and Darril owed me a favor. I sat and waited for him for about an hour, and then he came wandering by, without a care in the world. I did a little bit of mojo, and made him one of my very good friends.
I gave him a copy of that note, and told him to go see Darril at the Square Bar. I wanted to show him that there were no hard feelings between us, once I got all squared away with my debt. Fucking rigged game.
Had one of the kids running around the Dregs take a note to Darril. Darril has helped me out before, and it usually has incredibly creative results. The important thing, when dealing with wannabe slumlords like Jonny, is to make it so they can't run their operation.
Darril's latest thing has been helping young men from the Noble's district get a little kinky. It's been a big thing lately, not anywhere near my taste though. Darril takes some kind of solution and a needle, and injects it into their balls. The end result is grossly oversized testicles that interfere with everything. It wears off after a few weeks, but the ensuing time before it does seems awkward.
Hopefully Darril doesn't let me down.
[edit] From the Journals of Tristram Shandy
[edit] 14 March 1332 (continued)
Tonight has been a shitfest. We followed the trail of the strange woman who seemed to have kidnapped Amelia back to a warehouse. After incapacitating the guards, we went in. We found Amelia in a lead-lined room (obviously to prevent scrying) with an elf chick named Whisperwind. Apparently she is the leader of the “Order of Libertas.” (Why the hell does a god of freedom have a hierarchical order? Seems a little hypocritical to me. “I believe in freedom! Now do as I say!”) Anyway, she had Amelia’s baby too, so maybe I can get out of this crazy mess sooner rather than later.
Minutes after arriving, we were ambushed by more purple guards. Whisperwind tossed us some headbands that evidently protect against scrying. We fought our way out slowly. It was a grueling battle; the guards kept coming and coming. Master Alvers always said “Keep Expeditious Retreat memorized, boy. One day it will save your life!” He was right. I stayed out of the physical fighting of course, swaying the battle with my arcane prowess from a safe distance.
We finally escaped the building and headed to the backup hideout. Idiots at the hideout were initially distrustful of us, but we convinced them that Whisperwind sent us. Staying here for the night.
[edit] 15 March 1332
No more late night messages from…you know. Thank Wee Jas.
What the fuck! The less filthy dwarf took a shit on the stairs outside the hideout during the night! He must not have wiped, because he still smells like shit. This may tip the scales as to which dwarf is actually the filthiest.
Having trouble deciding what to do, so it looks like we are staying here for the day. The two ideas we have are:
A) Head out to that tomb that Alex told me about and collect treasure. Rejoice. B) Run headlong into Mekor’s lab and challenge him, ensuring an early death for most of us.
That awful detective got a sending during the night from Mekor. It demanded that we turn over the child immediately. For some reason this has made them even more intent on charging in to our certain doom. Why am I here again?
[edit] 16 March 1332
It still smells like shit in here!
We’re all going to die, I can tell. One of the dwarves got a sending from Mekor. They have now decided, against my better judgment and loud recommendations, to assault his lab. I’m going to lead them in to the arcane district tonight. This very well may be my last journal entry.
[edit] 17 March 1332
I can’t believe we made it out of there alive. Before we had a chance to prepare, the shit dwarf (That is how I think of him now) charged straight in the front door. We took out the guards, but not before they had a chance to alert their master. Mekor was definately ready for us.
Witnessing Mekor’s powers was awe-inspiring. He was most certainly a powerful wizard. Not as powerful as Master Alvers, of course, but still mighty in his own right. Our “charge in blindly” strategy was not wise. He was up on a balcony 40 feet up and waiting for us. Didn’t even have to fight us himself, just tossed some fireballs at us while his animated furniture pounded on us. Somehow the tranny managed to hit him with some mageblight poison (nasty stuff, I didn't want it anywhere near me!) and he was no longer able to cast the spell that would have been his doom.
After finally dispatching with the dining room table, we learned that Mekor was a rogue agent working on his own behalf. I had some misgivings previously about confronting him, being that he was acting within his rights under the law, but this has made me feel much better. Apparently he had forseen his doom in the form of those babies. Looks like the joke is on him. The very nice wizard from the order offered us work in the future as we proved quite competent.
Think I am going to talk to Alex later about that tomb. It may be the only chance I have at finding Annie. After we got the bitch back her kid, she told us that Annie had stopped by to talk to her, told her she was going on a long journey. Worthless cunt didn't know anything else. I will be glad if I never see that waste of perfectly good matter again.
Anyway, I'm off to spend the rest of the day identifying the items we managed to snag on our way out the door.
[edit] 18 March 1332
Left this morning for the tomb. We should be there by nightfall. Journeying by horse is far more tedious than previously imagined.
[edit] The Adventures of a Red Leaf Snuff Smoking Dairy Farmer
As if fighting in a chaotic battle to retrieve a delicious young veal was not enough to make any dwarf need to empty his bowels from over exertion, I found myself carrying a cow from the battlefield for future Daromir dairy production observational purposes. We ran down the streets and back alleys for what seemed forever. While each step forward brought me closer to some unknown destination, the sound of each running step also served to hide the bottom burps from my rambunctious rectum. We stopped at the hideout just as I thought I was about to experience a backend blowout.
We went inside and then everyone just seemed to stand around and argue for awhile. I peered around for signs of a restroom where I could unleash my sphincturbulence in private. Nothing—not even a chamber pot!
Someone finally took charge and we were ushered into a dark veal cellar roughly 15x15 feet in size. I considered explaining to both my companions and the Order of Libertas that a veal cellar needed to be much smaller in size. I also considered telling them that cellars or even veal huts had fallen out of style and that most consumers now demanded that their veal be raised in sunny, open air facilities, that featured protection from the rain and chances for the young veal to socialize… but all I could concentrate on was masking the sounds of my butt trumpets and trying to avoid a colon calamity.
Finally, I could take it no more and had to leave the veal cellar or risk fertilizing Mezra right then and there. I didn’t make it very far before my anal evacuation occurred. It consistency was equal parts chunderous chili and aerosolized stool. Finding no good way to clean up the mess, I decided to let it be and cleaned myself up with one of my socks as best as I could before heading back down to the veal cellar.
Manure management planning is an integral part of any sustainable livestock production system such as dairy farming. Shit happens –I thought everyone knew this. Why then were the Order of Libertas so underprepared? If you are going to directly confront a Wee-Jasian veal kidnapping league than you need to know a little bit about your adversaries operations including their manure management plans—of which the Order of Libertas appeared to have none.
Once morning arrived, the Order of Libertas came and started getting all pissy concerning the manure. They were being all bitchy and I just wanted to chill, so I spent the day hot boxing in the veal cellar. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!
Finally, one of those Order of Libertas bitches delivered a chamber pot.
Another day arrived. More hot boxing. People seemed to be getting messages from Mekor left and right. I thought I saw his face in the feces at the bottom of the chamber pot, but it may have just been a chicken nugget. Hard to tell.
After two days in the veal cellar, people finally seemed to be doing shit. The plan was to go and raid Mekor’s labs—looting and sampling any delicious veal pies we happened to find and maybe selling some of his shit to pay for my red leaf expenses.
I kicked in a door, smashed in a guard’s head with my quarterstaff, kicked in another door, and then fell after being attacked by an animated table and some candelabra. The other dwarf did his best to keep me in the fight, but my comrades tell me that it was the dwarf hating mickey, Mikeal, who won through the day with his spiked chain made of metal. His metal weapon was able to slam through table and candelabra alike. My fists, knees, and quarterstaff failed me. I need to learn to fight like him.
We sold off some of Mekor’s jewels and now I have a tidy pile of gold. One of the spellcasters said that he knew where we could get more gold. I’m in this to win it. The detective said that the red leaf is in the noble’s district and that it may be pricey.
[edit] Organization Building; Viva Orcaleon
The first meeting with Jimi Tripod didn't go as smoothly as planned.
He's always been a little too lazy for my tastes. Indulges a bit too much. Could have sworn I saw a little white powder on him. I need to keep the Don informed. I see lots of potential here.
I'll start by investing in Jimi's business, and keep my thumb on him to keep growing it. I'll get my taste before too long.
Sending to Don Orcaleone:
First child masculine. Contact made with Jimi. He needs leaning. Has hooers, needs drugs. Xalo filled with potential. Lots of money here. Send sageroot.
[edit] Letter to Faekrin
My Darling Faekrin,
I hope this letter finds you well. It has been far too many days since I have seen you, I hope you are finding success in the courts of Thunderhelm. I have arrived in Xalo, and it is as horrible as I believed it to be. There is hunger, sadness and a dark presence makes the whole place depressing. I am thankful for Merazag, the wolf companion the allmother provided me with, for without him I fear there would be no friendly soul to keep me company.
I have met with the heroes from the vision, and already we have begun our quest, though I am unsure what to make of them. At first I could barely believe it, for these great people who I am to travel with are nothing more than criminals and schemers. Still, I will follow allmother's guidance, and I will follow her path, though I do so with great hesitation.
I discovered these five in a bar in the most wretched area of town. While I was trying to explain our quest, a wizard and a small group of warriors came in and stole an infant from it's cradle. I ran out to discover what had happened, only to find many of the soldiers dead, and the wizard and child missing.
Seeing no other option, I tried to convince the group to come with me to find the child. Unfortunately, we had no good way of finding it, and ran around aimlessly for a few hours. We eventually received word that the child's mother had left with an elven woman, whom we tracked down to a large building. When we asked to get in, our detective did something and the two people guarding the building attacked. The one man was injured and his friend was coerced somehow by the detective.
We found the child and mother in the basement, but we were followed, and the Purple Guard attacked! Merazag protected me thankfully, but the elven leader sent us on to another 'safehouse', while she valiantly held off the guard.
When we arrived at the other safehouse, we met a few more members of this 'Order of Libertas' that was protecting the child. We hid in their rooms, but the wizard who stole the baby spoke to us in our minds. I feared we could not survive to complete the task set out by the allmother with out this wizard dealt with, so I pushed us to make our way to his laboratory. He brought his furniture to life, but we were able to stop him from doing anything else thanks to some mageblight poison.
After a pitched battle where we almost died, a member of the wizards order came to thank us. And offer us a job. Working for this evil order of wizards. I don't want to work for these men, but they are so powerful I don't know if we'll have a choice. Could this possibly be the allmother's intent?
Now we leave for a tomb, and I fear what we will find. The others desire money and power, but I sensed a darkness surrounding Tristram, the one who leads us to this tomb. If I survive, I will let you know what happened.
I love you always,
Garthen
